FACTS, RECAP AND COMMENTARY

FACTS, RECAP AND COMMENTARY

     Everyone always wants to know exactly what women do in prison as far as sex.

When I used to be at cookouts, or even at work, that is the question that people beat

around the bush with.

    "Um, has anyone ever tried to jump your bones?"  Someone asked.

   What the heck is that?  Just ask the question!

    Family members are a little more direct. 

   "Did Martha really have a dyke named Big Bertha slapping her?" 

   The answer to that is absolutely not.  She did have a young black girl from D.C.

that was not intimidated or afraid to step to Martha.

   "Hey Martha, can I pick you up for lunch?" The girl asked.

 This was a boy-girl, and she was thugged out! 

   "Of course.  I would love to have lunch with you?"  Martha replied.

   Yep-this young thug pushed up on Martha Stewart, and not only got a date, but

also picked her up from her job daily to walk to lunch and eat with her.  We were all

shocked. Even more surprising, Martha seemed to enjoy the attention and the company.

When we would see them walking, Martha would be laughing hard.

   "Martha, what is up with your new friend.  She comes to pick you up faithfully.  You

are not turning gay, are you?"  I teased.

   "Of course not.  She is a nice girl, and she is funny.  She keeps me laughing and I

enjoy her company."  She answered. 

   Martha was not anybody's duck or bitch.  She was a boss to the core. 

   So what do women do in prison?

   First, I am going to have to break this thing down.  It is four levels of women that

co-exist in prison.

   Level one is the curious women, and the closet women who have never been in a

gay relationship, but have turnout potential.

  Level two is the turnout.  A turnout is a girl that is gay for the stay, and did not come

into the prison gay, but inside the walls entered into an intimate relationship with

another woman. 

  Level three is the wannabe gay women, or pretenders and commissary pimps.

This category is also where all the bi-sexual women from home fit in.  They

were not gay at home, and will push ten women out of the way to get to a real man. 

A lot of them have more babies than all of us.  Many women come in and see the

market for money, and then cut their hair and change their walk, etc.

These women get on my nerves.  Fakes!  When you see their pictures from the streets,

I never recognize them.

   "Which one is you?"  I ask all the time.

    The woman is standing in front of me, baldheaded, sagging pants, and a young man's

demeanor, but on the picture she has on full makeup, a wig, and six inch high heels.

Many of them are also strippers.  Commissary pimps either give head for commissary,

or just collect commissary and promise the girls that they will get faded later.

Most of them are clueless on what to do with a female. 

    My grandkids read my blog, so I will keep this clean.  However, my rule was if you

attempted to partake of my private parts, you could not have had a man in 10 years

before coming to prison.  Also, you had to be gay from the streets.  I was not playing

around with a bunch of amateurs.  Having sexually relations is a 205 shot.  A shot is

an incident report.  You are going to the SHU.  You are going to be embarrassed.  All

staff and inmates are going to know what you were doing and who you were doing it

with, and some staff will even call your family and let them know what you were

caught doing.  Some staff are messy too.

    So, it was NO way I was going to play games with an amateur.  All that drama, and

not get faded?  Absolutely not! 

   Level four was my type in prison.  Gay from the streets. Had lots of swagger.  Wore

men clothing, and had lots of experience with women. 

   I made a mistake of taking a few of them home, and that was a bad decision.

My advice to all prison closet queens and pillow princesses is WHAT IS DONE IN

PRISON, STAYS IN PRISON, for real.  Women that think they are men are the best picks

in prison, but on the streets they have some serious psychological problems. 

    Of course women know this when they meet them.   When men or women dress

cross-gender, you know that it may be some other issues, and women are no different.

    On to the actual relationships.

    Turnouts are like the song by the Whispers, "Olivia the slave, gave distracted all

the way, to grandmother's house- Lost and turned out!"

      It is confusing for many people.  What makes a woman that is totally against

homosexuality change their minds in the middle of a prison bid?

     The answer rests in the change of cultures.  It is to be noted, as I said earlier

prison has its own culture.  Some aspects of prison culture mirrors the streets, and

others does not.   Inside these prison walls, you learn to work with what you have.

It is the same principle as if you were stranded on an island. 

    Maybe when you first get to the island, you are accustomed to bathing, and using

toilet paper about going to the bathroom.  Eventually, you adjust to the island culture.

There is no toilet paper, so you use leaves.  There is no bed, so you sleep on the sand.

There is no towels to bath with, so you use your hands.  There is no beef, so you eat

what is available, and your diet drastically changes.  Prison is the same way. 

   Most people do adapt and some even adjust.  After a few weeks, your resolve begins

to adjust to your environment in many instances.  Some women do not venture into

gay relationships, and remain firm in their faith in the outside world. 

    As time goes on, what looked like the unthinkable in the beginning of your bid,

becomes conceivable for many.  Hormones also play a big part in why a woman opens

Pandora's's box and allows another to turn her out.  Just because a woman is in prison,

does not mean she looses her hormones.  I commend the women that I know that remain

"strictly dickly", and stand their ground.

      Once a turn out adapts, it is a total loss of control in many instances.  Oral sex,

or any kind of sex has a spiritual component.  Many women have a large percentage of

sensitive fibers in their private area.  Oral sex between two adults is intense, and it

is total concentration on that sensitive area.  Like crack, these sort of things are not

to be toyed with.  If the person knows what they are doing, then the receiver is in

trouble.  Life no longer makes sense.  The focus becomes gaining the feeling again

and again.  Many times, all reason goes bye bye, out the window.  With a turnout,

because it is new, many have a hard time adjusting their minds back to normal, so

they just go with the flow, and the flow is all that matters.  Women began to loose

weight, because food doesn't really matter.  Who needs food, when you have partaken

of the forbidden fruit, and living it?  Weight loss is one of the symptoms of a turn out.

   You think about the things that the strange girl has done to you.  You replay the

things that the forbidden girl has done to you.  Your body revels in the feeling and

aftermath of the way the girl handled you, and then you realize that you have to have

it done again, as soon as possible.  It becomes a way of living, and what you live for,

and its all consuming.  At home, you can get away from the person, pour yourself

into your work or your family, or go shopping.  In prison, you see that person again

and again.  It takes a few weeks minimum to get your bearings back, and get back

to your old self, at the least.  Sometimes it could take months. 

    Within the last five years, it has annoyed me that there is so many bisexual

women in prison.  It is common now for a woman to tell me that she has a man and

a girlfriend at home, and that they both know about each other.  In the era I came

up in, that was unheard of, and now it is the norm.  Bisexual to me means just plain

greedy, and a freak.  Pick a team!  Equally as annoying to me is the commissary pimps.

Have you no shame?  To me they are equal to the two dollar crack whores and pill

whores, and I have told a few of them that.  You fake a relationship for commissary

and even put your mouth on a woman's privacy for a few packs of Ramon noodles or

a cup-o-soup?  Get some standards!  This is really disgusting and its common.  This

is real, and I watch it daily. 

       I also know a few women that came into prison without that House In Virginia

(HIV), and then tested positive later because of being promiscuous, and changing

girls like they change their underwear.  That happens also.  One of the women I know

was also messing with a male officer.  Now that is a different story altogether- and

when she found out he died from AIDS she tried to have her family sue the prison.

Of course they told her that it was no way to determine that she'd contracted the

disease from the deceased officer, and her law suit was thrown out.  They said that

because she had also been involved in sexual relationships during the 14 years of

her serving time, she could have contacted it from any one of her partners. 

Testing is free.  It is good to know your status.  It is also good to know who you are

dealing with and implement some standards if that is what a woman decides to do

while in prison.  Today, I would not advise it, because the risks and the headaches

are too great. 

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