C-5-15

THE SEX TOY RAID

 by Rhonda Turpin

     People often wonder how inmates release their sexual tension.  Let

me tell you a big secret- SEX TOYS!  This morning at 4:00am at Danbury

Camp, the second major bust in one year took place.  Our night officer

scored again.  He usually does a routine shakedown of general areas when

he gets bored, and last night was no different.

     "Bingo!"  Officer "Sting" said.

      C.O sting pulled out a series of large dildos out of the common area

in the bathroom located upstairs near the library.  One of the dildos was

named Jimmy.  Jimmy was 12 inches long, and 'as wide as the CO's arm.'

Peter was the name of the other dildo.  It was more civilized in that it

was nine inches, with a reasonable circumference, and was jet black in

color.  Hum.......

   That was not the first time that Officer Sting found the Camp stash.

Last year, while conducting a routine search, he started looking up while

at the microwave area in the hallway.  He said later that what caught

his attention was that the tile was slightly lifted up, and shouldn't have

been.  That bust consisted of two dildos, five silver bullets, and a few

rabbits.  Yeah, that bust was major.

     "Ladies, does anyone wish to claim these items I found?"  CO Sting

announced on the loud speaker throughout the Camp.  Absolutely not. 

We do what we have to do during critical times- it is not the first

bust, and it most definitely will NOT be the last. 

Danbury Federal Camp

March 13, 2015

author, publisher, prisoner

C-4-15

Camp Visitor

     Today was deep.  They announced at 4:00am that we would be having a

"visitor" at the Camp.  They said a federal judge was coming to check out the

Camp for the women to come here that were at the FCI being held at Brooklyn.

In prison, each time there is an expected visitor they go all out.  Its all a waste.

The person visiting usually rarely pays attention to their tactics, and I am

positive that this will be the case.  The Judge cancelled until tomorrow, so

more scattering for inmates tonight and tomorrow, then its RESUME normal. 

Danbury Federal Prison Camp

Rhonda Turpin

author, publisher, prisoner

C-3-15

A GOOD LAUGH GOES A LONG WAY

     We all know people that are truly funny.  It is nice to have one living

next door to me.  I live in A-dorm, which is comprised of 50 women residing

in 2-women cubicles.  Let me translate- no privacy.  If your neighbor snores,

it feels like she's in the same cube. This evening I was walking from the

community bathroom to my room, and heard "Jay"(our comedian) tell our

bus driver, "You are not even a good white! You need to find another race!"

Well, I try not to let my neighbors know I ear hustle, and secretly nosey, so

I tried to keep a straight face walking pass the cube they were in.  It

didn't work.  Our bus driver said, "Ms. Turpin!" so that I could comment, and

I burst out laughing so hard I almost peed on myself.   Today was a good

day because it was my first day of Zumba class, after doing Bob Harper's

biggest loser tape, and I felt productive.  In the Zumba class, my bunkie Amanda

said behind me, "my body doesn't move like that.  All of the white girls here

are moving another way, in the opposite direction."  And sure enough, they

were!  Another good laugh watching them in action.  The class was a lot of

fun because I love to dance.  Prison is hard.  We all miss our children, grand-

children, parents and mates, but its nice to have a good laugh and people

like Jay keeps laughter radiating throughout the dorm. 

Laugh- it's soothing to the soul....

Rhonda Turpin

author, publisher, prisoner

Danbury Federal Camp

3/5/2015

A Prisoner's Daily Schedule

      Often, when I call on the telephone, or get a letter from someone, they

either ask me what I am doing, or what I did today?  Well, today was a good

day.  Everyday is not.  I got up this morning, waited for 5:00am count to clear,

and then from 5:15am to 6:15am, I did yoga with a class.  I watched the sun

come up, as a struggled to hold my warrior pose, focusing out the window at

the sky.  Its refreshing.  Then, I went to UNICOR, where the factory is closing,

but they had a few last hurrahs before slaming the doors.  Then I went to

work out in the gym, with Bob Harper's BIGGEST LOSERS CD.  My grandson

often asks what did i eat?  For lunch I ate a chicken patty, with a small helping

of carrots, and for dinner, tofu with vegetables and rice, and then later, a

bowl of generic Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal.  Today was commissary day

at the Camp- we only go once a week, but I often deprive myself because I

rarely NEED anything after more than 10 years in prison- its always a WANT. 

I went last week and spent 90 bucks, and I really do NOT believe in that. 

I grind hard for a few pennies from book royalty checks, and I am not trying

to give it all back to the feds.  Nope. 

   I have a second job of mopping the kitchen floor five days a week that I

love.  I work alone, after everyone has left the kitchen, and its always peaceful.

I am not institutionalized.  Every old song, the sun rise, a full moon, or a

smell takes me mentally back home, to the life I left.  This is not living- it

seems civilized, but remember, my daughter needs me; my six grandchildren

need me and their quality of life rests in the balance as long as I am here; and

I have a host of friends that are waiting on me to assist them with certain

aspects of their dreams.  I am a master grantwriter, and funding developer!

Today was not wasted.  I do NOT believe in that either.  I write, and write,

and write, and my words seep through the bars and prison steel and concrete

that they have all around me. 

Rhonda Turpin

author, publisher, prisoner

Danbury Prison Camp

March 3, 2015

Back To The Gym

Well, its sad to report, I stayed out of the gym for three months and gained

nine pounds- I am back at it.  What aggravated me more than anything was

the skinny bitches trying to take over the gym! Because they have never

seen me down there, they didn't know that I work out. 

  One is 90 pounds, and the

other two are a solid 120.  Everytime I got on a piece of equipment, HERE

they were, "How long are you going to be?"  I wanted to spazz out and say,

"Skinny Bitch, can't you see I am using it??" but instead I mean-mugged

them and said, "I am using it right now!"  They LIVE at the gym, so you

can't get a moment when they are not there.  We need more than the current

 1000 square feet for a gym/weight room. I am about to get mines!!!!(lol). 

Danbury Federal Prison Camp

March 1, 2015