C-5-15

THE SEX TOY RAID

 by Rhonda Turpin

     People often wonder how inmates release their sexual tension.  Let

me tell you a big secret- SEX TOYS!  This morning at 4:00am at Danbury

Camp, the second major bust in one year took place.  Our night officer

scored again.  He usually does a routine shakedown of general areas when

he gets bored, and last night was no different.

     "Bingo!"  Officer "Sting" said.

      C.O sting pulled out a series of large dildos out of the common area

in the bathroom located upstairs near the library.  One of the dildos was

named Jimmy.  Jimmy was 12 inches long, and 'as wide as the CO's arm.'

Peter was the name of the other dildo.  It was more civilized in that it

was nine inches, with a reasonable circumference, and was jet black in

color.  Hum.......

   That was not the first time that Officer Sting found the Camp stash.

Last year, while conducting a routine search, he started looking up while

at the microwave area in the hallway.  He said later that what caught

his attention was that the tile was slightly lifted up, and shouldn't have

been.  That bust consisted of two dildos, five silver bullets, and a few

rabbits.  Yeah, that bust was major.

     "Ladies, does anyone wish to claim these items I found?"  CO Sting

announced on the loud speaker throughout the Camp.  Absolutely not. 

We do what we have to do during critical times- it is not the first

bust, and it most definitely will NOT be the last. 

Danbury Federal Camp

March 13, 2015

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